Broken Hearted

I've written several blog posts in my head this week, but none of them have made it to print yet.  I woke up this morning thinking about this one though, and thought it should be short enough for me to finish before the rest of my house wakes up.  Usually, short & my blog do NOT go together.  We'll see :)

Last Sunday, Shawn and I were given tickets to the Carolina Panthers game.  After church, we got our kids settled and headed Uptown.  During our Sunday afternoon hike stroll from the car to the stadium, a sign caught my eye.

"feed the spirit   nourish the soul" (with a TREE in the middle)

I immediately thought, "There must be a church in that building.  How cool is that!"

But as I got closer, I realized that I was sadly mistaken.

"Bar 10" in the black circle

"Lobby Bar" in the black circle

It was an advertisement for a BAR!!! 

WHAT??!!!

The only thing that truly feeds the spirit and nourishes the soul is JESUS CHRIST and HIS TRUTH!!!  Not alcohol.  Not a bar.

This sign really upset me. 

It was a lie. 

A bold-faced lie. 

A lie from the pit of destruction.  

A lie from the father of all lies who seeks to kill, steal & destroy. 

And yet, as we walked into the stadium, it became apparent (pretty quickly) that many, many people believed this lie to be true.  Alcohol was everywhere!  Honestly, it took a long time to find someone withOUT a beer in their hand.  I was surrounded by alcohol.

When we got to our seats, my sensitivity to alcohol was heightened even more.  I couldn't speak. I could only observe as the words on that sign kept repeating themselves in my head. 

I wondered what the father in front of me was trying to escape from.  What was happening in his life that had him more interested in his next drink than spending time with his young son sitting next to him.  He spent more time on beer runs than he did watching the game with his son.  Was he believing the lie?  Was he expecting alcohol to feed his spirit and nourish his soul?  Or was he just looking for numbness?

Or what about the couple who had to literally lean on each other so they wouldn't fall over (or spill their drinks)?  They were quite intoxicated, and it was just the 1st quarter!  What had such a grip on them that alcohol falsely appeared to loosen it for the moment?

Or what about the young lady carrying all the cups of beer that she could possibly balance to her boyfriend behind us?  Was she searching for his approval?  Or trying to secure his love?  What was she really longing for or trying to prove?

The examples could go on and on.  It was heart breaking to me.  Alcohol was everywhere.  But more important than that, HURTING PEOPLE WERE EVERYWHERE!  Alcohol was merely a mask covering their internal pain.   

I knew from my reaction that this experience was another answer to my prayer - "God, break my heart for what breaks Your heart."   He opened my eyes a little bit wider and touched my heart a little bit deeper for those hurting around me - for those searching to feed their spirit and nourish their soul with alcohol and other false remedies. 

It was pretty intense. 

I was so preoccupied with what God was showing me that I don't remember watching much of the game.  And I'm a huge football fan. 

Ironically, I had to crop empty beer bottles out of this picture!

It grieves God when we turn to things of this world instead of to Him to feed our spirit and nourish our soul.  It breaks His heart when we believe lies! 

*God was merciful to me though. The 2 guys sitting to my right drank their Cokes and talked about church & Scripture!!! They were a refreshing gift from God. A sign of HOPE!

God has plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11; Ephesians 2:10.)  He created us to have a very close & personal relationship with Him.  He made us for His glory.  Satan on the other hand wants nothing more than to prevent us from fulfilling our God-given destiny.  He will do whatever it takes to derail us, and alcohol is just one of his many, many pawns.

In the midst of blue & black hair, painted faces, and panther costumes, I wanted to stand up and yell - but not for the game!!!  I wanted to tell people the Good News!  I wanted to share the Message of Hope with them!  I wanted to tell them about Jesus, the Satisfier of their soul!!!  I wanted to encourage them to put down their beer and pick up God's Word (which has the answers they are searching for!)  I wanted them to embrace & experience God's love and be as passionate for Him as they are for football!   

I wanted to, but I didn't. 

But isn't it interesting that if I would have stood up and started talking about God, I would have been considered the crazy one!  An unstable weirdo! Mothers would have grabbed their children and ran in the opposite direction!  I'm in the midst of grown men & women wearing blue wigs and panther paint yelling at the top of their lungs at 22 men running around on a field, mind you, but I would have been considered the crazy one! 

HELP ME HERE!  This just doesn't make any sense!!!  We have been blinded and lied to.  It's time to replace the lies with His Truth!!!

So, I've been praying all week for God to show me what He wants me to do with this revelation.  And in response to my prayers, He has shown me some very basic steps to begin taking. 

The first one is to pray for 30 days and seek God's wisdom regarding what specific group or cause He wants me to get involved with.  There are so many needs!  Sometimes, we can become so overwhelmed that we end up doing nothing at all!!!  He's created each of us with talents, gifts, passions & dreams to be used to glorify Him while loving others.  Instead of getting involved in a whole lot of things and stretching myself thin, I feel very strongly that God wants me to get involved with a few things and do them well. 

If you need some motivation, check out Rachel Wheeler's story (PLEASE ignore all of the worldly advertisements surrounding it! It just proves the point of this post!!! I couldn't find a news story that didn't have worldly stuff flashing all around it!!!!! SO UPSETTING!!!) or the story of Katie Davis. 

The second thing is to reach out to people I know personally who are already hurting - family, friends, neighbors, etc.  It may be as simple as a hug, a text, a card, or a phone call.  Or, it may require more sacrifice.  But the important thing is to be aware of the people around us and to obey God's prompting to help them when needed.

The third thing is to make myself available to God which requires having a flexible schedule instead of one jam packed with activities all the time.  God has given me some opportunities recently to see Him in action when I've been available.  The details of those opportunities will be coming soon in another post.

As believers of Jesus Christ, we are called to action.  To reach out.  To help.  To give.  To get involved.  To forgive.  To share Christ.  To glorify God.  To obey.  Not to complacency.  Not to busyness.  Not to safety.  Not to comfort.  Not to our "To Do" list. 

We are called to LOVE! Not in our own strength, but in the strength & power of God's Holy Spirit - the only Spirit that truly does feed us and nourish our soul.

We have THE answer.  We have what other people are longing for.  We have JESUS.  But, are we sharing Him?  People are starving spiritually all around us.  Are we feeding them?  Their souls are malnourished.  Are we giving them an eternal life line?

As His children, it's our responsibility to "feed His lambs, take care of His sheep, and feed His sheep" based on John 21.  BUT ARE WE? 

Or are we just selfishly feeding ourselves and getting fat while sitting around the table??!!!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

Broken Hearts & Bird Pooh!

UPDATE

Not only did God use the bird incident this morning to give me a visual reminder of my sin, but He also used it to rearrange my schedule. A DIVINE INTERRUPTION!

My plans were to go run errands as soon as I left Cindy’s house at 8:30 a.m. I’ve been working a lot this week & this morning was my only window of opportunity for errands. But, I was delayed after having to come home & wash my van (and blog.)

I’ve been searching for some things at Wal-Mart for over a week now. Unfortunately, the Tega Cay & Rock Hill locations didn’t have the correct size. Today, I felt a strong nudge to go to the Wal-Mart on Exit 1 off I-485. So, I sacrificed some other errands and went there after my morning delay.

At Wal-Mart, I met a very sweet lady who was working at the dressing rooms & answering the phone. She was a great help to me. When I came out of the dressing room, she had put her head down on the counter. When I checked on her, she told me she was not feeling well at all. She looked like she didn’t feel good either. We talked for a while, and she shared some very stressful things that were happening in her life now. Then she got a phone call.

I left so she could tend to the call. A few minutes later, she came looking for me to say thank you for talking with her. She gave me a hug,. Then, I asked her if I could pray for her. She agreed, and I started praying right there in the middle of the aisle in Ladies Apparel.   Afterwards, she said, “God sent you to me today!”

Yes ma’am He sure did! He even used bird pooh to do it too!

************************************************************

Two weeks ago, we had a youth & family worship service at our church.  These services are some of my favorite.  They are informal but very focused on the Lord.  I feel a sense of freedom to worship God the way my soul longs to worship Him in these services.

God used the words from our youth minister Matt to REALLY convict me.  Matt talked about the prayer "Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours."  He said when we pray that prayer, so many times we see the brokeness in people and circumstances surrounding us like poverty, orphans, addiction, etc.  But, Matt asked us to think about OUR OWN SIN and its impact on God!
   

MY sin breaks God's heart!!! 

Ouch!

Does it break MY heart too??!!! 
Ouch again!

Our sin is serious. Very serious to God.

So many times, we rationalize our sin.  We justify it.  We compare it to the sins of others to minimize it.  We ignore it.  We deny it.  We live with it.  We let it weigh us down.  We let it identify us.  We let it condemn us.  We let it control us. 

But what we need to do is CONFESS IT and SEEK GOD'S FORGIVENESS.

We read 2 Samuel 11 about David's sin with Bathsheba and then Psalm 51 regarding David's cry of forgiveness and repentence to God.

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
according to Your unfailing love;
according to Your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against You, You only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in Your sight,
so that You are proved right when You speak
and justified when You judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Surely You desire truth in the inner parts;
   You teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones You have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide Your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from Your presence
or take Your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
and sinners will turn back to You.
¹⁴ Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of Your righteousness.
¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare Your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, You will not despise.   

God wants us to be broken over our own sins.  Broken to the point of repentence and freedom from them.  Matt reminded us that Jesus did not die to forgive us of our sins only at salvation, but He shed His blood for every sin we will commit in our entire lives.
 

We are to walk through life FORGIVEN!

Romans 8:1-2 says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

During the past 2 weeks, I have heard A LOT of teaching on Christian radio about unconfessed sin and forgiveness as well.  It is so important that we confess our specific sins to God every single day.  We do not want our sin to damage our relationship with Him so it's best to deal with it IMMEDIATELY and CONSTANTLY.

God, with His great sense of humor, gave me a reminder of this vital lesson this morning.....

A few days ago, my son Tanner washed my van.  It was squeaky clean.  Then this morning after walking with my friend Cindy, a flock of geese flew over and did this...

Look closely at the windshield - it is COVERED in bird pooh!

Well, I had a couple of choices.  I could ignore it and look through the clear spots to see to drive. 

I could turn on my wind shield wipers and create a blurry mess.  Or, I could stop everything I was doing, put away my "To Do" list and deal with the pooh. 

Now, my van is clean again - for the moment - until another bird flies by!

God wants us to do the same thing.  HE WANTS US TO STOP WHATEVER WE ARE DOING AND DEAL WITH THE POOH IN OUR LIVES!  RIGHT NOW!

Confessing our sins to God right before we take communion a couple of times a year is NOT enough. Not for the kind of personal relationship He wants to have with us.

Our sin breaks God's heart, and it should break ours too.  And our brokeness should lead us to action - to confession and repentence and forgiveness and restoration and freedom - DAILY.

Now, go deal with your pooh! Seriously.

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,

Nancy

More Broken Pieces

"Something is wrong when our lives

make sense to nonbelievers." 

Francis Chan - "Crazy Love"

My (extended) family takes vacations together every year.  It's a tradition that started before I was born and it continues today.

Usually we rent a house with a pool at the beach.  This year, we decided not to wait until the summer.  For the first time since the grand kids (my kids & my siblings' kids) started school, everyone had the same spring break.  With everything our family has been through in the past 6 months, my mom decided to plan a beach trip now.  

Since the weather this time of year is unpredictable, we did not rent a house.  Instead we rented 2 units at a large hotel with indoor pools and a water park because the grand kids love to swim.  This of course meant all of us couldn't stay in the same unit.  We had to split up.  And we had to share the pool area with lots of other people.

On Thursday (the 6th day of our vacation), I spent a lot of time reading in the pool area.  As I looked up to lay eyeballs on the kids I was responsible for, another string bikini (worn by an older lady) came into view.  YUCK!  I complained to God again about the indecency surrounding me.  Surrounding MY KIDS!  "God, I can't take this anymore!  Next year, we need to go back to staying in a house with a private pool."

I supported my position by reminding Him of some of the other things we saw during the week too like...

*Saturday night, everyone except my husband & I went out to eat at a restaurant that is usually really fun for kids.  (My kids rode to the beach with my mom (Nana) because Shawn had to work & we were going to get there later than everyone else.)  Apparently this restaurant is not a place for kids on Saturday night.  A bachelorette party showed up and things got out of control. There was dancing on tables & flashing.  Just what I want my kids to see, especially my 14 year old son - NOT!  When we stay at a house, we usually cook dinner instead of eating out.

*At the pool area, lots & lots of young girls (middle schoolers) wearing skimpy bathing suits and tiny shorts -trying to catch the eye of teenage boys.  And parents allowing their daughters to dress this way.

*Grown women of ALL ages, shapes and sizes wearing bikinis that barely covered themselves.  Some things were just meant to be PRIVATE!!!  My poor 11 year old niece kept saying, "There is another sight to keep me up at night!!!"

*Older children being told repeatedly by the pool staff not to hang on the basketball goal and to stay in the water while shooting the ball.  They would comply until the staff person was out of sight & then they went back to breaking the rules.  They treated authority like it was something to be skirted instead of obeyed.  They just wanted to do what they felt like doing, regardless of the rules.  Defiance at its subtlest.  The younger kids of course copied the older kids.     

*A lady sitting next to me outside by the pool received some bad news about a job she wanted - it was given to someone else.  She started using words I haven't heard in a looong time.  She was cussing up a storm.  And she was loud.  By the grace of God, my children did not hear her.  She was livid (and sober.)  She blamed everyone from the president of the United States to the person who did the hiring.  Her husband had to leave.  He could not take it anymore.  She blamed him too for telling her the bad news, even though she asked him what he had found out after he spoke to someone on the phone about the job.

*Parents drinking (alcohol) & drinking & drinking some more while their children played in the pool. 

By Thursday, it was more than I could handle.  I wanted to climb inside my Christian bubble and float away.  I wanted to rescue my children from the worldly exposure.  I wanted to put blinders on my nieces and nephew - and my husband!  I wanted to ask people, "if Jesus was sitting beside you, would you dress that way?  Talk that way?  Act that way?

But then God reminded me of the prayer I've been praying for over a year now..."Lord, break my heart for the things that break Your heart."

My anger turned to sadness.  My heart softened.  Tears started flowing.  Then my heart began to break.  Into pieces.  Lots of pieces.

It broke for the women at the bachelorette party who were out of control and filling their emptiness with alcohol and outrageous behavior instead of the love of our Savior.

For the young girls and women of all ages who were longing to be noticed & considered beautiful.  Even to the point of compromising themselves for the attention.  Not realizing that God made them to be the apple of His eye.  That their bodies were created to be the temple for His Holy Spirit.   That while society puts so much stock in physical appearance, God looks at the heart. And that the King is enthralled with their beauty.

For the children who struggled with authority - finding it difficult to deny their own selfish desires to obey the rules.  They have no clue what kind of impact this behavior can have on their lives as they grow older.  They have absolutely no idea that this pattern can make it more difficult for them to hear God and obey Him.  Nor were they even thinking about the influence they had over the younger kids who were watching them and imitating them.

For the lady who was irate and feeling hopeless about her job situation.  For all of the disappointments in her life that had brought her to such an angry place.  For the personal rejection she felt even though this may turn out to be an opportunity for something else - bigger and better.  And for the depth of her pain that would trigger such a public tirade. Her hope was in a new job instead of in the living hope of Jesus Christ who has amazing plans for her. (Jeremiah 29:11)    

For the parents needing to relax but seeking an escape and choosing alcohol as their means.  They either do not know or have decided to deny that Jesus came & died for them, to give them life - abundant life.  Jesus will also give them rest - rest for their soul.  Ohhh and for their children who are learning by their example and the generational strongholds that could result.  I have a lump in my throat just typing this. 

I am not sitting in judgement.  I am humbled in brokenness as God continues to answer my prayer.  He is removing the scales from my eyes to help me see reality - to be touched by it instead of isolated from it.  

Once God opens my eyes (and yours) to the reality of this world, we can't pretend it doesn't exist. 

If and when we allow our knowledge of reality to make the journey from our heads to our hearts, then we will begin to act and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Our comfort or isolation is not the answer.  Being equipped and ready for action is.  Jesus said it Himself in John 17 in His prayer to His Heavenly Father for His disciples...

"I have given them Your word. And the world hates them

because they do not belong to the world,

just as I do not belong to the world.

 I’m not asking You to take them out of the world,

but to keep them safe from the evil one.

They do not belong to this world any more than I do.

Make them holy by Your truth; teach them Your word, which is truth.

 Just as You sent me into the world,

I am sending them into the world.

And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them

so they can be made holy by Your truth." 

John 17:14-19 

And to think that I would have missed all of this if we would've stayed by ourselves in a house with a private pool.  I would have missed God. I would have missed His answer to my prayer.

Are you willing to leave your Christian comfort zone and minister to those who are lost and hurting around you?

If so, ask God to show you someone with a specific need and then use you to meet that need.  He will.  He is just waiting for you to make yourself available to Him.

Jesus said,  “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field."  Matthew 9:37-38

The needs of the world are so great.

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy