The Perfect Place for Perfectionists

Every Monday at radiation is "picture" day.  X-rays are taken to ensure nothing has changed, and everything is still lining up correctly.  They want to make certain the radiation is going to the right place!

Picture day takes longer and requires me to lay still on the table until they have made any necessary adjustments.  This past Monday, something wasn't lining up the way they wanted it to so I had to remain motionless for about 30 minutes until they figured it out.  Normally, I am only on the table for 5 minutes or less.

When I arrived on Tuesday, I was told Dr. Bobo, my radiologist, wanted one more picture.  It ended up taking over 30 minutes this time, and Dr. Bobo even came in to make sure I was set up correctly.  Two pictures were exactly right, but the third one was off.  So, they were making all kinds of adjustments to correct it.

The staff is absolutely wonderful!  They were apologizing for the delay and constantly checking on me.  I told them not to worry about me.  Radiation is the ONLY place I can go and hear these words... "You just relax and let us do ALL the work." 

I have to go to radiation everyday just to get some rest!  

Anyway, once I was finally adjusted, "art class" began.  All of my markings were updated and covered with new stickers.  The staff explained that the adjustments they have to make are all in MILLIMETERS - tiny, tiny, tiny.  They apologized again for being so picky.  I thanked them for it.

FINALLY, THE PERFECT PLACE FOR PERFECTIONISTS!!!  Maybe I should consider changing careers... 

Note to self - don't assume that Monday is the only long day on the table at radiation.  If you have been drinking water all day and think you may need the little girl's room then go BEFORE your treatment.  Don't think "I can wait 5 more minutes."  Five minutes just may turn into 35 minutes!  I'm just saying... 

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy
     

You know you are having a good day when...

Battling fatigue from radiation is tougher than I thought it would be.  I've been so mentally drained lately that it has literally brought me to tears!  Being a task-oriented person does not help much either!

But, God's presence and strength are sustaining me.  He is taking care of everything, and He has plans to use it all for His glory!  

So, I thought it would be good to do a little reflecting on some of the things God has done to help me keep things in perspective.  And this verse keeps playing over and over in my mind...    "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8


You know you are having a good day when...

* You get to witness God answering prayers - MY BROTHER SHANE CAME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL YESTERDAY - VALENTINE'S DAY!!!  Talk about LOVE!  YAY GOD!!! 


* You dash out of the house without grabbing anything for lunch only to get to work and be told by your cousin Allyson, "We are having lunch at the office today for Valentine's at noon.  I just ordered Chick-fil-a nuggets and chicken salad sandwiches from your husband."  Talk about GOD'S PROVISION!!!

* You muster up enough courage to check your mailbox (after a few days) and are delighted to find NO MEDICAL BILLS!

Instead, you find a precious card from a praying friend who has been asking God to give you exactly what you need - STRENGTH!!!  And she added an extra treat inside.  Talk about A BLESSING!

THANK YOU KRISTIN!!!

And why would someone be afraid to check their mail, you ask.  Well, maybe because the last time she did, she received 6 MEDICAL BILLS in one day!!!  Talk about OVERWHELMING!

Just a little free advice - anytime you receive a medical bill, you should call the billing department to make sure everything is correct.  We have found that some claims were not filed with the insurance company by mistake, were not coded correctly (which ended up cutting our bill in half!), could be negotiated, etc.  Make the call.  It is worth it!


* You are soooo tired you can't see straight and someone shows up at your door with dinner for you and your family.  Talk about BEING THE HANDS AND FEET OF JESUS!

THANK YOU BARBARA!  YOUR CASSEROLE WAS DELICIOUS!

* You conspire to surprise and kidnap your friend on her birthday and it works!  Talk about BEING A GOOD SPORT!  Cindy had gotten all comfy thinking she was in for the night! NOT!!

* Your friend leaves you homemade chicken noodle soup in her mailbox so you can pick it up during your early morning walk through her neighborhood.  Talk about being a TRUE FRIEND! 

THANK YOU SHAWNA LEE!!!

And these are only a few things that God has done!  When we keep our focus on Him, He helps us keep our perspective - even in the midst of our difficult circumstances. 

LOVE HIM!
CLING TO HIM!
TRUST HIM! 
RELY ON HIM! 
OBEY HIM!

HE IS WORTH IT!

Loving HIM with all  my heart & soul,
Nancy

Being Prayerful, Thankful, and Stuck in the Mud

For the past week, I've had this little sticky note posted beside the gear shift in my van.

Smith is my friend Angela's 2 year old son who is having surgery tomorrow to remove his tonsils and adnoids, do some ear reconstruction, and put tubes in his ears.  WOW!  That is a lot for a little fellow.  And it is quite a lot for his mama!  Please join me in praying for both of them.  I've been praying Philippians 4:6-7...

"Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

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I am so thankful for the very kind people who brought dinner to me and my family this past week.  THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!  Proverbs 11:25 says, "The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped."

My friend Tina took care of us last Friday with a 3 course meal!  THANK YOU TINA!!! Thank you also for always checking on me and for not taking NO for an answer!!! 

Shawna Lee and her daughter Katie blessed us with this delicious meal!  YUMMY!!!  THANK YOU!   The card was sweet too.  **Shawna Lee, please tell your neighbor we said thank you for the cookies!

Look at this beautiful smile!  Lucia brought by a fabulous meal on Tuesday along with a touching gift that brought tears to my eyes - I'll share the details soon.  THANK YOU LUCIA!  And to think this was the first time Lucia and I met each other!  Talk about being the hands and feet of Jesus!  God has special plans for you Lucia....follow Him.

Tonight, Muriel baked us a chicken pot pie (which we completely wiped out!)  She also made us a healthy salad with apples in it.  Why is this a big deal you ask?  Well, I eat a lot of salads now because it's an easy way to get my veggies, and I've been wanting some crispy apples in my salad!!!  I even took an apple to work yesterday for my salad, but did not get a chance to chop it up.  So, today God used Muriel to put apples in my salad!!!  He takes such good care of us, doesn't He??!!!  THANK YOU MURIEL!!!

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When I was in elementary school, my friends and I would put on our rubber boots and slosh through the ditches in our neighborhood when it rained (in the summertime only, of course.)   We would drudge through the mud and water until we wore ourselves out.  We had to use a lot of energy to move forward because the mud and water were trying to hold us back.

That is the best way I know how to describe the fatigue caused by radiation.  Only now, I feel like I am standing in thick red mud up past my knees while trying to move forward at a normal pace.  It is nearly impossible.  The weight of the mud is tremendous, and it wins sometimes.  But, I consider it a victory when I am able to stand, without moving backwards or forwards! 

Lately, God has been teaching me how to let myself off the hook, especially when it comes to trying to move forward at a NORMAL pace.  Life is not normal right now, and it is okay if I say NO to some things.  As long as I continue to say YES to God, I will be just fine.  My next lesson... learning how to do this withOUT feeling guilty.

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

Quality Time With God

I absolutely love football.  I am a huge fan.  Fall is my favorite time of year mainly because it is the beginning of football season.  And tonight is the biggest football game of the year.  My family is watching it at a Sunday School Super Bowl party, but I am at home. 

When I told my husband and children I had decided to stay home, I thought they were going to need medical assistance! 

"Honey, are you REALLY not going?" 
"No, Sweetie, I'm REALLY not going." 
"Are you SURE?"
"Yes, I'm SURE."

"Mom, you ARE going to watch the game at home, right?" 
"Well, no Son.  Our cableless TV does not get the Super Bowl channel." 
"Mom, get my IPod so you can keep up with the score."

After they decided I was serious and after I reassured them several times that I was okay, they left in their team colors to cheer for the Packers.  Go Pack Go!

So, why did I stay at home?  Well, as much as I love football, I love my God more.  And He invited me to spend some time with Him tonight processing everything He revealed to me today.  He knows I'm a sucker for some quality time since it's my primary love language!

I don't know where to begin.  And I don't know if I will actually publish this post or just keep it for myself.  We'll see what God says when we're done.  But, I do know I have to put today's events and my thoughts into writing.

I guess I'll start at the beginning.  This morning, I got up a little early to have my quiet time with God and to review my Sunday School lesson (I teach 4th grade.)  We are focusing on kindness this month, and the Golden Rule - "Do to others what you want them to do to you." Luke 6:31 - is our memory verse.  The monthly challenge is to get the children to do random acts of kindness.  That's right - DO SOMETHING!!!

Anyway, part of the lesson included me sharing an unexpected act of kindness I had done for someone.  The first thing that came to mind was something that happened in Haiti.  Which led me to think about the people I met there and the poverty.  Which led me to think about another poverty-stricken part of the world God has burdened my heart for.  Which led me to think about what God is prompting me to do about it, etc.

Excuse me while I read a text from my husband.....Okay, I'm back (4 6 8 texts later.)  He was just checking to make sure I'm listening to the game on the radio!  See, I told you my family is concerned about me.  They are probably thinking I've had too much radiation, especially when I replied "No.  All quiet here.  Just me and God!" 

Anyway, when it was time for me to get ready for church this morning, I headed upstairs.  My husband had turned on the cableless TV to a nature show on PBS.  Jack Hannah was on an adventure in South Africa.  You guessed it, God has put AFRICA heavy on my heart.  So heavy at times that I think my heart is going to explode!

Side note:  Africa has never been on my radar.  Brazil has always been the country I've wanted to go to on a mission trip.  But, shortly after returning from Ecuador last October, I read a post at http://www.aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/ about an upcoming mission trip to Africa and something was triggered in my heart.  Then, God began putting Africa in my path more and more until I literally see or hear at least one thing about Africa EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!  I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING!  I could not in my wildest dreams come up with some of the ways God shows Africa to me either!  I will share some specifics with you later on a different post.  I already feel like I'm writing the Great American Novel once again!!!

Just before we needed to leave for church this morning, my husband went to warm up the van.  While he was waiting for us, he heard a lady on the radio mention people being called to Africa!!!  See, Africa twice before 9:15 a.m.!!! 

And while my family has become sensitive to references of Africa due to me sharing what God has laid on my heart, this morning was different.  It was so overwhelmingly obvious that God was speaking personally to my husband about Africa!!!  It's hard to describe.

Oh, my husband has been ready to pack his bags for Africa for a while now because he has repeatedly seen confirmation of what God has laid on my heart about Africa.  My husband has been so supportive.  But today, God called my husband too!!!  Personally.  Individually.  WOW!!!

My friend Jamie at church has an Africa connection, and I have sensed for about 2 months now that it is Jamie's connection we are suppose to help in Africa.  I'll explain all of these details soon too, along with an opportunity for you to help as well.  Anyway, after this morning's events, I told my husband that I needed to talk to Jamie.  We no sooner got out of the van at church that guess who pulled in right across from us??!!!  JAMIE!!!  God brought her to me without me even having to look!  Jamie was able to provide me with some helpful information too.  

Interestingly, in worship today, Jamie's husband sang Chris Tomlin's new song that says...."Where You go, I'll go.  Where You stay, I'll stay.  Where You move, I'll move.  I WILL FOLLOW YOU." 

The pastor preached on trust, and so many of his key points were exactly the things God has been teaching me - including one of my favorite TREE verses....

 “But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
   whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
   that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
   its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
   and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:7-8



Then during large group in Uptown, which is our children's Sunday morning program, we sang a song about being Jesus' hands and feet and going where He sends us.  The words were on a screen with a rotating globe on it.  When the song came on, the globe was on Africa, and when it ended, it was on Africa!  I was in tears!   

I honestly believe that one of the reasons I have breast cancer now is to slow me down just enough so God can prepare me for Africa.  Without cancer, I would probably be on a plane to Africa right now.  Seriously.  I can't handle many more days like today without DOING SOMETHING IMMEDIATELY.  God knows that I'm willing, but not quite ready.  His plans and timing are perfect.  But waiting is so doggone hard!!!

Oh, excuse me again - another text.  Sorry, my husband is not accustomed to watching the Super Bowl without me!   It appears that the 4th quarter is starting.  That means my time alone with God is limited tonight.  And I've done most of the talking.  So, let me go and be still and listen to God. 

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,

Nancy

Your Prayers Are Needed Again

UPDATE:  Shane's surgery went well this morning!  PRAISE!  His gall bladder was definitely in bad shape.  PRAY he recovers quickly!  THANK YOU! 

My brother Shane is doing better, but HE WILL BE HAVING HIS GALL BLADDER REMOVED THURSDAY MORNING AROUND 8 a.m.  Please pray for him to be able to tolerate this procedure and recover really quickly.

Shane's gall bladder has been aggravated for a while - most likely as a result of being sick for 3 months.  But today, an ultrasound showed that it needed to be removed now.

PLEASE PRAY FOR SHANE! 

Thank you.  I will keep you updated.

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

More and More Blessings

It is tough being a night person and trying to learn to be a morning person!  I have so much I want to get done in the morning, but time runs out.  In the evenings, I am so tired I have to go to sleep.  Please pray that I am able to get the important things done and able to let the other things go until radiation is finished.  IT IS HARD!

Also, for the first time since I started radiation, I actually got tired at work yesterday.  At about 11:30am I started yawning every few minutes and needed a nap.  Prior to this, I only got tired after radiation in the afternoons.  I am praying that yesterday was only a one time thing and not the new trend!  I do bookkeeping and it is the first of the month (BUSY BUSY BUSY) so I can't be tired at work right now!

But God is so faithful and takes such good care of me!  When I got home yesterday, I had a little surprise waiting for me....

THANK YOU SHARON and FAMILY!!!!!  What a peace of mind to have a meal in the freezer for whenever we need it most!  And how did you know that we were already out of oranges??!!!  Not to mention the gorgeous flowers - a sign of new life.  THANK YOU SO MUCH!  Your surprise blessed me more than you will ever know.

Then, dinner arrived from these 3 beautiful young ladies!  THANK YOU!!!

Mexican - my favorite!!!  YUMMY!!!  THANK YOU AUDREY and FAMILY!!!  WHAT A BLESSING and ENCOURAGEMENT YOU ARE TO ME!  THANK YOU DEAR FRIEND!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

More Blessings

Update on my brother Shane

Huge praise!  Shane went for 3 days without getting sick!  YAY GOD!  The doctors also think they have FINALLY discovered the problem: his vagus nerve was disturbed during surgery.  Here is a little something I read about the vagus nerve which is a nerve that extends from the brain to the abdomen:
 
"The vagus nerve helps to regulate the heart beat, control muscle movement, keep a person breathing, and to transmit a variety of chemicals through the body. It is also responsible for keeping the digestive tract in working order, contracting the muscles of the stomach and intestines to help process food, and sending back information about what is being digested and what the body is getting out of it."

Shane has started eating broth, jello,  etc.  On Sunday, he started getting nauseous again and got a little sick.  Yesterday, he only got sick once.  This is HUGE!  God gets ALL the glory!  PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR PROGRESS! 

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On Sunday morning as we were leaving for church, my next door neighbor came running out of his house with a bag in his hand.  He handed my husband the bag and said, "Someone left this on our door last night at midnight, and it has a card with Nancy's name on it."  My husband graciously accepted the bag and explained to my neighbor that I had breast cancer and people like to bring things by to help me.

Here is what was in the bag....

Talk about a TRUE friend!  Making sure I eat my fruits and vegetables!  You made my mom proud (& yours too!)

And the fact that the bag was left on my neighbor's door was a God thing!  You see, about 2 days before this, I heard something on the radio about "How well do you know your neighbors?"  I thought to myself, I'm dealing with cancer and most of them are unaware.  So what are my neighbors dealing with that I'm clueless about?  What opportunities am I missing to be able to reach out to them?

The neighbors who came to my mind first were the ones who got my bag.  They have a 2 year old and are expecting their 2nd child soon.  The 2 year old has been sick so I honestly haven't seen her or her mom in weeks.  I've been so caught up in making sure I do not get sick during radiation that I've neglected an opportunity to minister to my neighbors.

What about you?  Do you know your neighbors?  Do you REALLY know what is happening in their lives?  Are you reaching out to them? 

And to cap it all off, I heard the story of the Good Samaritan on the radio yesterday.  God is definitely speaking!  It's time to TAKE ACTION!  DO SOMETHING for your neighbors! 

Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Luke 10:27

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Speaking of doing something, last night Kristin from MOPS brought us dinner!  THANK YOU KRISTIN!!!  We literally wiped it out in no time flat!  I am not kidding.  No leftovers for lunch today :(

THANK YOU ALL FOR LOVING ME AND MY FAMILY!  Thank you for your prayers.  Thank you for your e-mails.  Thank you for your cards.  Thank you for the meals.  Thank you for the phone calls.  Thank you for your sincere offers to help in any way you can.  Thank you for your surprises.  Thank you for everything.  THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  You are the hands and feet of Jesus to us.

"A generous person will prosper;
   whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."

Proverbs 11:25

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy