It was good while it lasted

Prior to surgery in December, I did not sleep very well or very often.  But since surgery, I have actually been getting lots of sleep.  My friend Rene says that I've been making up for all of my lost sleep.  Well, I must finally be caught up because I've started waking up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep.

I woke up this morning at 1:42 a.m. after only about 4 hours of sleep.  Since I can't go back to sleep, I'm up doing laundry and blogging.  And for some reason, I felt like turning on the TV - which I hardly ever do.  Guess what is on?  A show about AFRICA!!!  God is preparing my heart for His plans.

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My fantastic friends are still bringing us meals!  This past week, Tonia brought us homemade chicken and dumplings with salad & derby pie.  YUMMY!!!  THANK YOU TONIA!  THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 

My friends Rene and Catherine teamed up to bring us wings, fries, salad and brownies.  Rene and my daughter Faith are buddies so when she called to see what we wanted to eat, she asked Faith.  Ask and ye shall receive!  THANK YOU LADIES!!!  THANK YOU SO MUCH!   

We are so blessed!  We are so grateful!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

I got a boost today....

of radiation, not energy - definitely NOT engery. 

Because I have one week of radiation left, my treatment changed today.  Now, only my scar area from surgery will receive radiation, and this is called a boost.

I could really tell a difference today.  Let's just say before I even walked out of the radiology office this afternoon, I was already yawning.  I could feel the effects that quickly.  I.Am.Exhausted.

Good Night.

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

  

     

All you have to do is ASK

Every evening during dinner, my family and I go around the table and share something (nice) we did for someone else that day.  It can be as simple as holding the door open for someone.  It's not hard, but it is intentional.  It helps us to be mindful of the needs around us and actually DO SOMETHING about them.

Yesterday, I went to radiation early so I could get finished early and run an errand.  As I was getting out of my car, I gathered up some trash from my cupholder so I could throw it away in the trash can by the front door.  As I walked through the parking area, I saw a large piece of trash on the ground.  My first thought was "if I pick that up and throw it away with my trash, I can tell my family that's what I did for someone today.  I would be saving the grounds keeper from having to pick it up."

But, my next thought was "God, I want to do more than that today.  I want to interact with someone.  I finish radiation next Thursday, and I know You still have people You want me to reach out to.  Use me, Lord."

Well, I did not have to wait long at all for God to answer my prayer!!!  About 30 seconds later as I approached the front door, I saw an elderly man sitting in a wheelchair waiting to be picked up.  So, I spoke to him.  He told me he was waiting for his ride, but she had never been there before and did not know how to find him.  He explained that she had parked at the front of the hospital, and he was now on the far side of the campus.

I asked him if he wanted me to walk around to the front to find her.  He said "YES!"  So, I had him describe the car to me so I would know what I was looking for.  Then he said, "You will see a young lady with a purple blouse on."  I naturally assumed his granddaughter must be the one picking him up.

As I headed around the building, I saw an elderly lady trying to step from the parking lot up onto the sidewalk.  She was having some trouble.  So, I asked her if I could help, and she used me to pull herself up onto the sidewalk.

I then continued on my quest to find a young lady driving a 2007 silver Honda.  I actually made it all the way to the front of the hospital before I spotted a car that fit the description.  But, there were 2 people inside.  Huh, must not be the right car.  Then, I saw the purple blouse in the driver's seat, and a security guard in the passenger's seat!  The young lady I had been told to look for was completely white headed!!!!!  HOW SWEET!  It was his wife!  I hope my husband refers to me as a YOUNG lady when we are in our 70s and 80s! 

Anyway, "the young lady" had gotten the security guard to ride with her to help her find her husband.  I flagged the car down and told the security guard exactly where his driver was trying to go.  I then headed back to the elderly gentleman to tell him his ride was on her way.  He was so thankful and said "I don't know what I would have done.  I was lost but now I'm found!"  What a perfect segue for me to talk about God and give Him the glory for putting us in each other's path.

I finally made it into radiation only to learn they were running behind.  So, I actually had a chance to meet someone new and talk to 3 other ladies I already knew while I waited!  That has not happened in awhile.    

After my treatment, I walked out of the building and started heading towards my car and guess who I saw?  The same elderly lady who I had helped onto the sidewalk!!!  Now, she needed help getting off the sidewalk and onto the parking lot.  So, I ran to catch up with her and asked if I could help again.  She graciously accepted my offer.  Once she was safely in her car, she looked at me and said "You are an angel!"  I'm thinking, "And you are an answer to my prayer!"

We ended up talking in the parking lot for over 30 minutes!!!  She even gave me her phone number so we can get together in the future!  And she let me pray for her before she left! 

Needless to say, that errand I was suppose to run yesterday is still on my To Do list today, but God gave me a new 83 year old friend instead!!!

Talk about a Divine Interruption!  ONLY GOD!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

God's Provision UPDATE

My husband put on his detective hat yesterday to find out why I was not listed on the computer under our new insurance plan.  Here's what he found out.....

Because I am one of his dependents and over the age of 18, my information is private and he cannot have access to it unless I give him permission!  Interesting.  As a parent, this is good to know.  I won't go into all of the different scenerios here.  Just be aware and make sure you have access to your child's health care information if you are paying for it when they are over 18.

So, I am covered, it's just undercover.   What a relief!

But guess what God did through all of this??!!!  He allowed me to discover that we actually have some orthodontic insurance coverage - a week BEFORE Tanner gets braces!!!  YAY GOD!!!  We have been told that both of our children will need braces, so when Tanner started seeing the orthodontist 3 years ago, we started saving money for braces then.

If the insurance works out like it should, our remaining balance will be EXACTLY the amount we have saved for Tanner!!!  ONLY GOD!!!

And just in case you have been praying for my poor husband who had to listen to the exhausted, ranting and raving love of his life the other night, God took care of that too.  Let me fill you in...

Yesterday after Shawn spoke with the insurance company and I was given specific instructions on how to find myself under our insurance policy on the computer, my husband & I exchanged the following texts:

Shawn:  "Are you stressing me for nothing???? Lol!"

Me:  "It's not for nothing.  It's for character building!!!  God is working on you THROUGH me!  Whatever I can do to help out!!!"

Can't you just feel the love??!!!  Well, right after that, my mom asked me to check something on her computer at work.  That's when I saw an article on YAHOO! about 10 natural ways to mellow out if you are stressed out!  Perfect.  I forwarded it to my husband.  Another answered prayer!  God has such a sense of humor!!!

Just in case you are stressing out too, here's the article:   http://www.aolhealth.com/condition-center/depression/natural-ways-to-mellow-out?a_dgi=aolshare_email  

Doesn't God just make you smile??!!!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

God's Got My Mascara Running! The Insurance Co.'s Got Me Screaming!

I'm just going to say it...I TOLD YOU SO!

Yes sir, right here on January 25 http://forthedisplayofhissplendor-nancy.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-difference-day-makes.html  I told you that God was setting the stage to do some things only He could do.

Since that day, I've been keeping a little list of God's provisions regarding our finances.  Here are a few of them.....

1)  God impressed upon the heart of my dear friend Tina to line up more meals for me & my family.  When Tina first mentioned it, I told her the ladies at MOPS were already bringing food 2 nights a week.  We were fine.  Tina's response - "Sounds like we need to add some more meals!"  By the end of that night, she had meals lined up for 2 more nights each week during radiation!  THANK YOU FOR BEING OBEDIENT TINA!!! (There is more to this story but I'm saving it for another post coming soon!)

This is my "sneaky" friend Sheri who brought us a FABULOUS dinner on Thursday.  She also brought us 2 more dinners to be frozen for later that she didn't tell me were coming.  She just showed up with them!  THANK YOU SHERI!!!   One of those dinners was eaten for Sunday lunch as a matter of fact!  WHAT A BLESSING! 

Here is my friend Karin and her daughter Keely.  They brought dinner Friday night and Karin was even wearing her "Fight Like a Girl" shirt!  Dinner was WONDERFUL, and we had just enough leftovers for lunch Saturday.  THANK YOU KARIN!  THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I can't tell you how thankful I am not to have to cook after radiation every day and what a HUGE DIFFERENCE these meals have made in our grocery bill!  H-U-G-E.  I am extra grateful of this savings because...

2)  During the month of January, there was a mistake on my husband's paychecks.  Money was being taken out for the old insurance plan (that we no longer have) AND the new insurance plan we now have.  The new plan is expensive enough by itself without paying for a 2nd plan we don't have!!!  Anyway, after tithing, paying our mortgage and then our regular household bills, there was no money left over for our usual grocery budget.  BUT, GOD PROVIDED FOR US THROUGH THE MEALS PEOPLE BROUGHT AND THROUGH GIFT CARDS PEOPLE GAVE US!!!!!  ONLY GOD!  

My husband's paycheck has since been corrected, and he has been reimbursed by the corporate office for his overpayments.  THANK YOU LORD!  But while we waited several weeks for these corrections to take place, God provided for my family!  And YOU were a big part of His provision!!!  THANK YOU!

3)  At a Children's Ministry training we had recently at church, I won a door prize.  It was a gift card to a local restaurant.  We used it for Valentine's Day.  So, we did not pay any money out of our pocket for our dinner.  We used coupons to grab the kids' dinner at Chick-fil-a.  We also had a special code for Red Box that night and were able to get a free movie!!!  Talk about a cheap date!!!  And to think people spend lots and lots of money on Valentine's! 

4)  My daughter brought home a notice from chorus at school about a spring musical she will be singing in soon.  It stated that she would need to wear a bright colored polo shirt.  She of course didn't already have one.  Then I received a spend $10 get $10 off coupon in the mail from JCPenney.  So, I stopped by JCPenney last week.  They had lots of colorful polo shirts and they were on sale for $10!!!!!!  With my coupon, no money came out of my pocket to buy the shirt Faith needed!!!  God just makes me SMILE!!!  

5)  Then, God decided to blow our minds this past week by answering a prayer we thought was only a loooooooong shot.  Remember the $16,000+ hospital bill I told you about.  Well, my husband has spoken to the billing department at the hospital on several occasions.  Before they would consider working with us, they have certain steps they wanted us to take. 

The first step is applying for Medicaid.  There is a special short-term Medicaid program designed for people diagnosed with Breast Cancer and Cervical Cancer who either do not have insurance or whose insurance will not pay for cancer treatment. 

The second step is applying for financial aid through CMC hospital just like you would at a college.  The hospital tries to find assistance for you through cancer organizations etc.

After reviewing the 2 applications & their criteria, it appeared I would not qualify for Medicaid or for very much financial aid.  But, I had to apply to satisfy the hospital.  So, last Sunday afternoon, my sweet husband sat down with me for hours as I filled out these applications and gathered all of the info. they wanted.  I was so tired I went to bed as soon as I was finished.  My vision was blurred and I was exhausted.

The hospital application was put in the mail.  The Medicaid application was faxed - all 23 pages of it!!!  Only two of the pages were the actual application form.  The other 21 pages were all personal info they requested.

Due to fax machine issues, I had to call and speak directly to the Medicaid person.  She told me she would need to talk with our old insurance company about the type of policy we had.  Then she would let me know if I was even eligible to apply for assistance.

She called me back on Friday afternoon to tell me.....

My old insurance policy qualifies me to be considered AND she decided to APPROVED ME FOR ASSISTANCE!!!!!!  I asked her if she was joking and she said no.  I asked her if she was sure I was not being watched by hidden cameras for my reaction when she told me "Just Kidding!"  She laughed and assured me again she was telling me the truth.

Through tears and running mascara, I told her how good God is and how He had just used her to answer prayer!  

So, what this means is that Medicaid will pay for my treatment from October 2010 to December 2010 - my biopsy, MRI, & surgery.  We have already paid some bills, and it will be our responsibility to get them to reimburse us (fun times!)  Since we changed insurance companies in January 2011, our new policy is responsible for radiation etc.  WOW!!! What an answered prayer!!!  

I was feeling quite emotional and undeserving.  So I asked God why He did this for me.  He brought 2 things to mind: 

1) My friend Leann sent me a text message on Jan. 30 that said "Not sure what is going on in your world but I have been praying last night and this morning for you.  Praying Nehemiah 13:31 "Remember me (Nancy) with favor, my God."  Leann had been praying for me to have FAVOR with God!!!  God chose to have favor on me all because my precious friend asked Him too.  He was answering her specific prayer!!! 

2) At MOPS on Friday morning, my prayer warrior friend Faye told me "You are being prayed for more than you know!" 

AMAZING! 

NEVER, EVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER! EVER!!!

God was answering your prayers!  I can't tell you what that means to me.  THANK YOU!

Keep your seat belts on because GOD IS JUST GETTING STARTED!!! 

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And the next adventure starts NOW.....

Satan is after my joy again!  Last night right before I went to bed, I was looking to see if a particular doctor was covered under our new insurance.  When I pulled up our account on the computer, I was NOT listed on the plan!  Only Shawn and the 2 children were listed.  I have an insurance card but apparently, I never made it into the computer!!! 

I was not happy.  I was exhausted.  I got a little upset and started ranting about not having enough energy to do my own job much less someone else's! ETC. ETC. ETC.  My poor husband.  Yall need to pray for him!  Anyway, it just seems that we are constantly finding mistakes with our medical bills and now with the new insurance company.  ALWAYS DOUBLE AND TRIPLE CHECK YOUR MEDICAL BILLS!!!!!

Well, now that I've gotten a little rest and can see clearly again, I'm excited to see what God is up to with all of this.  His ways are not our ways!  Thankfully His ways are perfect!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,

Nancy

You Must Have the Wrong Number...

A few weeks ago, I received a recorded message from one of the high school assistant principals inviting parents of rising 9th graders to a meeting at the high school. 

My first thought, "Uhhh, why are you calling me?  You must have the wrong number."

Then I received an e-mail and a flyer about the same meeting.  What's up with that?

Surely this sweet little boy of mine canNOT be going to high school next year!!!

I mean it was just yesterday that he was born 2 months early and had to spend 5 weeks in the hospital before coming home on a breathing/heart monitor.

There is NO WAY I am  he is old enough for him  to be in high school!!!

To make matters worse, the very next day (after receiving the phone call from the high school assistant principal the night before) I'm in the carpool line at Tanner's school and look what I see...

Drivers??!!!  As in driver's license??!!!  My son - almost old enough to drive - the nerve of these people!  What are they trying to do, give a poor mama a heart attack??!!!  What are they thinking??!!!

Why, it was just yesterday that he was standing in the front seat of the car turning the steering wheel while he pretended to be driving.  He used his "studying voice" for sound effects too.  And he didn't even need a job to afford the gas or insurance either. 

Huh.  They act like Tanner will be able to drive a "real" car in 10 months or something.  What is the deal here??!!!

The next thing you know, I'll be getting a phone call telling me Tanner has an appointment to get braces when it was just yesterday that he cut his first tooth!

WARNING TO ALL PARENTS:  Be intentional.  Invest in your children's lives today because tomorrow they will be grown. 

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul

and with all your strength.

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  

 Impress them on your children.

Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road,

when you lie down and when you get up. 

Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 

Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." 

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

Ouch! That Brick Wall Hurts!

About 10 days ago (Wed. 2/9/11 to be exact), I hit a mental brick wall.  My fatigue got the best of me.  I did not know what to do, so I just cried!  Honestly, I was too tired to do anything else.

I've never experienced fatigue like this before.  It's not like being tired and needing a nap or a good night's sleep.  It is cumulative.  It keeps adding to itself every day. 

My friend Shawn Lee explained it by using the "spoon theory."  She said it's like waking up in the morning and having 7 spoons to give out during the day.  The spoons represent your energy.  Once all of your spoons have been used or given away, there are no more!  You are done for the day!  You have to wait until the next day to get more spoons.

AMEN SISTER!

People look at you on the outside and think you are fine, especially the people closest to you who really want you to be fine.  But, they have no idea what is taking place on the inside.  The battle with fatigue is real and it is fierce!

I strongly believe I am experiencing such fatigue as an answer to one of my prayers - "God  break my heart for what breaks Your heart."  He is allowing me to have this encounter with fatigue so I can relate to many others who are engaged in the same battle.  He is giving me new insight and compassion.  He is broadening my ability to understand and sympathize.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us."  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Satan wants nothing more than for us to isolate ourselves when we are struggling.  He wants us to put on our masks and pretend everything is okay when it's not.  We tend to isolate when we feel no one will understand.  Or when we believe we are in this all alone.  Or when we think we are the only person going through this situation.  Along with numerous other lies we convince ourselves are true. 

Isolation can lead to depression which can lead to hopelessness, etc.  God's heart breaks for people caught in the web of satan's lies.   We were not put on this earth to be alone!!!!  We were made to be in relationships - first with Jesus Christ our Savior and then with other people.  We were made to reach out to one another and help each other - in good times and in bad.

The numerous and creative ways that YOU have ministered to me and my family during my season of cancer are exactly what God had in mind.  YOU ARE A LIVING TESTIMONY TO GOD'S WORD!!!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!

Now, if I can just stay far, far away from that brick wall, I will be fine!  The other day, it was waiting for me on the freezer aisle at Wal-Mart, and I ran smack dab into it face first!  Not pretty.  Hopefully, I won't do that again!  I am learning my limits.  Please pray that I will stay within my limits withOUT feeling guilty.

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy