Look what I found......

when I walked outside to start my van this morning!  



JOY DEFINITELY COMES IN THE MORNING!!! (Psalm 30:5)

(I found out that it was my sister Nicole who brought JOY to me!)

THANKS COLE!

 Then, I went to MOPS and came home with dinner! YUMMY!  

THANK YOU SHERI!!!

"As iron sharpens iron,
      so a friend sharpens a friend."

Proverbs 27:17

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,

Nancy

ALL BLUE & TATTOOED!

I went to be "fitted" for radiation today.  The people there are genuinely super duper nice!  I don't know any other way to put it.

Nurse K went over all of the logistics with me and made sure I understood everything, including the risks.  She also made sure I knew that they would be permanently "tattooing" me today to mark where the raditation needs to go.  I asked her if I could get a cross because I wanted my tattoo to mean something.  She grinned and said "FOR GOD'S GLORY!" 

Amen sister!!!

Nurse K is obviously a follower of Christ.  Several years ago, she went on an extended mission trip and ministered to orphans.  God touched her heart during that time, and she fought hard for a few years to adopt her daughter who is now 13!!!  Her God story is very encouraging, especially for those going through the adoption process with another country.  Her advice:  DO NOT GIVE UP!

I actually got 3 tattoos, but I think they are only small dots.  I've also been marked with bright blue lines everywhere.  They assured me that the bright blue was NOT permanent!

As I was leaving, I met another patient.  She was not doing well.  She shared a little of her story with me.  She said that her small cancerous spot was completely removed.  However, a very small spot was found in one of her lymph nodes.  When the surgeon went to remove that cancer, it broke apart into smaller pieces.

As a result, she is having to undergo both radiation and chemotherapy.  She said she just finished her first round of chemo which consisted of 8 straight days of treatment.  She said the side effects were horrible, and she could barely put her feet on the floor.  She has 3 more rounds of chemo left.  Round 2 starts in about 3 weeks.  And she is having radiation AT THE SAME TIME as chemo!!!  I cannot imagine.      

Please pray for her.  She does not want to do chemo anymore.  But she has a 12 year old daughter and knows that she has to do it.  She has beautiful thick blonde hair and knows it will fall out with the next round of chemo.  I do not know her name because our conversation was interrupted when the nurse needed me.  But God does.  So, please pray for her. 

I will officially start radiation on Monday, January 17 and end around March 4 - just in time for my birthday on March 7!  Well actually the 17th will be a test run and the 18th will be the real deal. 

Each treatment only takes about 10 minutes a day.  I'll also have x-rays once a week.  The most common side effects are fatigue and "sunburn."

Lots of you have asked about doing meals for me and my family once I start radiation.  Well, I was thinking it would be a HUGE BLESSING if you could simply share your "easy to freeze" and crockpot recipes with me.  That way, I can prepare a variety of food in advance and not need much energy to put dinner on the table each night.  (Unless of course you sense God wanting you to prepare the food yourself and bring it over, then by all means, please obey Him.)  You can leave your recipe on the comments or e-mail it to me.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your prayers, e-mails, cards, phone calls, text messages, smiles, encouragement, etc.  You all mean so much to me!!!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  Ephesians 3:20-21 

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

I NEEDED TO BE REMINDED...

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can
take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,

but against the rulers, against the authorities,

against the powers of this dark world and

against the spiritual forces of evil

in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God..." Ephesians 6:10-13

A little spiritual battle broke out on Monday night.  It did not surprise me.  It just frustrated me.  I did not handle it so well either.  In my mind, I knew it was one of the devil's schemes.  But, my mouth chose to ignore that memo and take sides with my emotions.  Not pretty.

God is so gracious and forgiving though.  He loves me in spite of myself.  He loves you too.  NO MATTER WHAT!  We cannot out sin God's forgiveness and love.

In an effort to contain my frustration, I decided to occupy my mind by reading.  I'm in the process of reading the book "Radical" by David Platt, and it was close by so I started with it.  I was only able to focus for a few paragraphs before my thoughts drifted back to the spiritual battle field.  Not to mention that I was also getting tired. 

So, I prayed out loud.  First I asked for forgiveness, and then I asked God to show me how to specifically respond to my situation.  I told Him how tired I was and that I really did not want to deal with the situation anymore at the moment.  So, I asked Him to please let me get some sleep and to show me what to do about my situation IN A DREAM.  *I have never asked Him to do that before.  I'm not even sure where it came from then.  I just heard myself saying those words!* 

I felt compelled to read just a little more until I was ready to actually fall asleep.  And do you know what David Platt began talking about 2 paragraphs later???.....

THE AMERICAN DREAM!!!

"As the American dream goes, we can do anything we set our minds to accomplish.  There is no limit to what we can accomplish when we combine ingenuity, imagination, and innovation with skill and hard work... The American dream prizes what people can accomplish when they believe in themselves and trust in themselves, and we are drawn toward such thinking.

But the Gospel has different priorities.  The Gospel beckons us to die to ourselves and to believe in God and to trust in His power.  In the Gospel, God confronts us with our utter inability to accomplish anything of value apart from Him.

As long as we achieve our desires in our own power, we will always attribute it to our own glory.  While the goal of the American dream is to make much of us, the goal of the Gospel in to make much of God.

In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability.  He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him.  In the process, He powerfully demonstrates His ability to provide everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined.  And in the end, He makes much of His own name." (Radical chapter 3)

Uhhh, I would definitely say that God spoke to me through a "dream" - The American Dream!!!  I was blown away - again!  Basically, God told me to rely soley on Him and His power so He could get the glory. I just need to keep my mouth closed and LET HIM DO THE FIGHTING FOR ME!  "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:14

David Platt, actually starts chapter 3 of Radical with a true story about a new pastor in a foreign country who encountered a serious threat from a witch doctor and how God clearly took care of that situation.  Talk about spiritual warfare!!!

He also talks about Joshua and the Battle of Jericho.  Jericho was the first city the Israelites would need to conquer in the Promised Land.  Remember, God told them to march around the city for seven days.  Then on the 7th time around on the 7th day, the priest played their trumpets and the walls fell down.

About the Battle of Jericho, Platt says, "Don't miss what God is doing.  He was divinely orchestrating the events of His people so that in the end only He could get the glory for what would happen.  But notice carefully what you don't see.  You don't see all the Israelites going up to the trumpet players and telling them what an incredible job they did that day.  No.  Instead you see the people of Israel realizing that only God could have done this.

This is how God works.  He puts His people in positions where they are desperate for His power, and then shows His provision in ways that display His greatness." (Radical chapter 3)

Okay.  Not only did God speak to me through a "dream" while I was wide awake, He also threw the Promised Land in there too.  You see, Sunday was my husband's 40th birthday.  He and I had a conversation about being tired of wandering around (like the Israelites did in the wilderness) for 40 years.  It is time to cross over into the Promised Land! 

I feel like our current spiritual battle is the first thing that needs to be conquered in the Promised Land (just like Jericho.)  God has made it very clear that the battle is His and victory will only come through Him.
 

Isn't our God absolutely amazing??!!!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

I CAME UNGLUED THIS MORNING!

Literally.

The "super glue" covering my stitches/incision came off this morning.  It has been on for a month now, adding an extra layer of protection.  I can DEFINITELY tell it's gone.

During the offering time in worship today, the Lord brought the ungluing back to my mind.  Then He spoke to my spirit.

He told me that He wants me to remove another protective layer from my heart and make myself vulnerable to Him.  He wants me to come unglued for Him!

WOW!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy

I GOT A TEXT MESSAGE EARLY THIS MORNING

from a very dear friend who lives in another city and it said...

"Thinking of you.  Praying for you. 

Curious to know how you have changed lately. 

In the last week, in the last month..."

Since I read this, I can't stop thinking about her words. 

Has breast cancer changed me? 

Am I different? 

How?

After giving it some thought, I must say that the biggest change began in my heart 6 months ago in Haiti.  Meeting the people.  Getting to know them.  Seeing the poverty & getting a little taste of it.  Watching God work.  Experiencing His hope. 

Then Ecuador.  Our mission team - how God assembled us & His swift provision to cover ALL the costs.  The orphans.  Their caretakers.  The women God put in my path.  The prison.  Spending the night in the orphanage.  The STRONG, OVERWHELMING presence of the Holy Spirit.  Inca Link (the ministry that took care of us - Gustavo, Matt & Sarah.)  The freedom to openly express our love & adoration for God through worship at church, without worrying about what others think.  ETC! ETC! ETC!

Both of these experiences prepared me for cancer.  They opened my eyes & my heart and broadened my view of what REALLY matters in this world - PEOPLE.  Not stuff.  Not our comfort.  Not money.  Not our routines.  Not worldly priorities.  Not our schedules. Not us.  OTHERS.

And breast cancer has opened doors for me to meet lots and lots of new people. 

So have I changed?  As I thought about this question, here is what came to mind today:

*I really enjoy doing things for other people, especially when God puts them on my heart.  I am used to giving gifts.  But, receiving gifts has been difficult for me, especially at first.  The reason: I don't deserve your gifts.  Your prayers, meals, visits, meaningful cards & e-mails, thoughtful gifts, etc. have blown me away!  Not to mention brought me to tears on several occasions!  I'm tearing up right now!  (*I'm working on a detailed post about this too.  I will be writing Thank You notes for the next year!)     

But, God has been teaching me some things through your giving.  He's been showing me His love.  There have been so many times that I have needed something or wanted something, and God used one of you to provide it for me!!!  He's been reminding me that His love is a gift.  Even though I don't deserve it, He still gives it to me (& to you) simply because He is God.  He IS love!  (You &) I just need to receive it.  Also, giving impacts both the giver and the receiver.  It effects the heart of us both.  So THANK YOU again for all of your generous gifts!  They have changed me.    

*I am not pushing myself as hard as I used to.  Now when I get tired, I rest.  I am learning to let myself off the hook.  I am also learning to say "no" without feeling guilty.  I don't have to be superwoman, just God's woman.

*Cancer has shaken up my priorities and helped me to focus more on the people in my life.  In the past, if I knew someone was coming over, I would spend all day cleaning my house.  Case in point, we had a family birthday party for Tanner last Thursday.  Normally, I would have spent the day cleaning and preparing, but I decided to hang out with my kids all day instead!  Trust me, my kids definitely noticed this change too.   And I was actually able to sit down and enjoy my family at the party as well.  HUGE! 

*Christmas was a little different as well.  I was not stressed out and running around like a mad woman.  Usually I want to keep buying gifts until the stores close on Christmas Eve - remember I enjoy giving gifts.  But this year, I had no desire to do that.  I purchased a thoughtful gift for everyone and then I was done.  Period.  I was very excited that several of our gifts served a dual purpose.  They were chosen especially for a family member or friend AND were able to benefit widows, orphans & the poor around the world.  (Most of the gifts were jewelry made by women in Africa who use the money to feed their families and maintain their small businesses.) 

Oh yeah, I actually got some sleep on Christmas Eve too!  That was a first.   

There are some things I was determined not to change.  I just had to make some minor adjustments.

*My family and I wanted to go to Christmas at the Billy Graham Library.  It was 16 degrees and windy the night we could go.  It hurts me to be cold!  So, instead of not going, I just bundled up with a few extra layers and grabbed 2 extra blankets for the carriage ride.  And off we went.  We had a great time!  And God reminded me how He can impact the world through a completely surrendered life as evidenced through the life of Billy Graham.  WOW!

*To make riding in the car easier and less painful, I just use my little "faith" pillow as an added buffer between me and my seatbelt.  I am used to being on the go, and I refuse to stay at home! 

*Our family's Christmas Eve tradition is to go to the outdoor ice skating rink in Uptown Charlotte.  I was still sore and guarded but determined to participate.  So, I just skated close to the wall and stayed out of traffic.  But I still went skating with my family.

*My brother-in-law Jeff (aka Guest) & I get each other gag gifts for Christmas, and he likes to wrap mine in several layers.  This year, my gift was in a very large box.  When I opened it, there was a smaller box inside surrounded by tons of balled up newspaper (4 weeks worth!)  My first thought was "snowball" fight.  My second thought was "but what if I get hit on my right side?"  I went with my first thought!  And it turned out to be one of the best times we had all day!

*My daughter has been praying for snow for weeks.  Her daddy was ready to drive her TO some snow the day after Christmas if he needed to.  So when it started snowing on Christmas, there was no way I was going to miss playing in the snow with her and Tanner.  I just layered up and hid behind my husband during our snowball fight!  And I held on extra tight while sledding down the hill.  Some risks are worth taking for the PEOPLE in our lives!

So how about you?  What has happened in your life this past year that has changed you?

My pastor always says, "God loves you just the way you are.  But He loves you too much to leave you that way!"  What a mighty God we serve! 

And although we need to be changed, our God does not.   He is perfect.  We can trust Him completely - no matter our circumstances.  Malachi 3:6 says, "I the LORD do not change." 

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,

Nancy 

A Much Needed Mother/Daughter Night Out!

Yesterday was the first time since my surgery that I officially got ready, put on make-up, and went somewhere other than to a doctor's office!  

I started by going to MOPS.  I'm a mentor and we (the mentors) did the program yesterday for our Christmas meeting.  We shared the stories of the 5 women in Jesus' lineage - Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, & Mary.  It was very touching.

I was Tamar.....

You can read her story in Genesis 38.  In spite of her sin, God still used her.  
We can NEVER out sin God. 
He will forgive us...for EVERY sin we commit...NO MATTER what it is!
We just have to ask Him.

"If You, LORD, kept a record of sins,
   Lord, who could stand? 

 But with You there is forgiveness,
   so that we can, with reverence, serve You."

Psalm 130:3-4

Afterwards, I was quite tired.  I had to go by the post office and ended up resting in my car in the parking lot with the warm sun shining on me for over an hour!  If the post office had not been so busy, I'm sure they would have reported me for loitering!   

With my second wind, I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart to get some things for Tanner's bonfire birthday party with his friends.  Since his birthday is Dec. 23, we usually do a party with his friends a few weeks early and a family party actually on his birthday.  With me recovering from surgery, Tanner and his dad planned the party and took care of all of the details.  So, I thought the least I could do was buy the food.

When I got home, I was going to straighten up the house for the party.  But, God had other plans.  He put 3 different women in my path that I knew He wanted me to spend some time with instead.  WHAT A PRIVILEGE! 

Then, my daughter and I turned the house over to Shawn, Tanner, and Tanner's friends!  Faith and I took off for a much needed mother/daughter night out!  The first stop was dinner.....

Then Santa.....

A little shopping, a checker game at Cracker Barrel (Faith won!), our annual ride through the Stafford Park neighborhood to see the Christmas lights & to vote on the best decorated house (I have pictures on my cellphone but they won't upload AGAIN!  ugghhh!), and then to Pet Smart.

Faith wants 2 parakeets for Christmas so she likes to visit the birds at Pet Smart every chance she gets.  She wants a furry pet so bad!  She is allergic to cats and dogs which makes her very sad.  She has the worst reaction to cats.  At times, she chooses to break out and take medicine just to be able to touch a cat!

After visiting with the birds for a while, Faith ventured over to the cat adoption center.  Nearly all the cats there were actually VERY playful kittens, and Faith could not resist!  She played with them through their cages until it was time for the store to close!  When I finally pulled her away (splotchy skin, itchy face, watery & swollen eyes and all!), she cried all the way to the car and half way home for those poor kitties!

Faith has such a tender heart!  As soon as we got in the car, she asked if we could pray for the kitties to all find good homes - so we prayed.  As soon as she got home, she started researching online what she could do to help.  When I went to bed, she was writing a letter to someone at an adoption organization that Pet Smart works with.  She is ready to take action!

Faith and I had a great night together with lots of laughs, lots of talk time, and lots of simple fun.   WHAT A BLESSING AND A PRIVILEGE!

Tanner and Shawn had a good time too.  I left a camera for them to take some pictures, but apparently they were having too much fun to use it!  

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,
Nancy       

Radiation Consult

"We wait in hope for the LORD;
   He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
   for we trust in His holy name.

May Your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
   even as we put our hope in You." 

Psalm 33:20-22 

I had my radiation consult appointment this morning in Pineville - a little closer to home.  I was greeted by trees on the walls in the lobby and in my exam room!  I have pictures but can't get them to upload right now - ugghhhh!

The staff I met this morning was super sweet.  I was treated like royalty!  God has handpicked these special ladies to work in this particular environment.  They really blessed me today.  I am looking forward to seeing them everyday for 6 weeks!

I will go back to be "fitted" for radiation on January 6.  After that, I will go for treatments 5 days a week for 6 1/2 weeks.  There will be a total of 33 treatments.  Fatigue and "sunburn" are the most common side effects.  I should be in there and out in less than 20 minutes per treatment!      

I am praying now for the ladies I will meet during radiation.  I'm asking God for lots of opportunities to share my faith with them.  When I walked up to the building this morning, I knew this was where God wanted me to be and He has specific plans for me.  God's presence brought tears to my eyes!  Please pray for me to be obedient and bold! 

********************

Let me just say, y'all have set the bar for dinner WAAAAAY TOOOO HIIIIIGH!!!  Now, my family is going to expect ME to cook them gourmet meals every night!  I've got to wean them and fast!  LOL!  WE HAVE BEEN SPOILED!  THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!  THANK YOU!!!  THANK YOU!!!  THANK YOU!!!

Christine and her helpers brought a FABULOUS dinner last night along with a DELICIOUS dessert from Jacona.  THANK YOU ALL!

Life is short.  Eat dessert first! 

Then, I got a surprise phone call from my friend Lily who wanted to bring by a favorite dish of hers - dinner for tonight!!!  THANK YOU! 

I LOVE YOU ALL!  YOU ARE THE BEST!

Loving HIM with all my heart & soul,

Nancy