Saturday, November 27, 2010

My Ultrasound Surprise!

UPDATE:  Within an hour of me writing this post, the spiritual warfare started!!!  I'm trading my seat belt in for the full armor of God!!!- Ephesians 6:10-13  " strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground..."  PLEASE PRAY!

Jesus said... "Peace be with you!
As the Father has sent me,
I am sending you."
John 20:21

After shopping all night and half the day (Black Friday fun actually started on Thursday night for us this year).....

I went to my ultrasound appointment at CMC after lunch.
I was the only patient there because everyone else on the schedule for the afternoon had called and canceled.  The ladies working there were super sweet and took very good care of me.  Thank you Theresa, Denise, and Dr. Chaconas!

I went in for an ultrasound and came out with a biopsy!!!!!  I won't go into any details except to say the difference between my first needle biopsy in RH and the one I had at CMC yesterday is NIGHT and DAY!!!  I still can't believe it.  I am still amazed.  Just more confirmation that I am exactly where God wants me to be!  He is taking such good care of me through the medical folks at CMC. 

The ultrasound was ordered to investigate 2 spots discovered on the MRI from Wednesday.  One spot turned out to be a cyst - nothing to be concerned about.  The other spot was very close to the cancerous spot that my first biopsy found.  So, Dr. Chaconas, the radiologist, decided to biopsy it. 

Afterwards, Dr. Chaconas said the spot she biopsied was actually the same area from the first biopsy.   And there is a chance that a tiny spot may have broken through the duct and is now invasive.   In layman's terms, this means that the cancerous cells may not be contained and could have spread to other areas.  The pathology report will let us know for sure.  Hopefully, I will know something by Tuesday afternoon before surgery on Wednesday morning.

Dr. Chaconas said I should still only need a lumpectomy because everything is in the same small area.  If the cancer turns out to be invasive, my lymph nodes will be tested during surgery on Wednesday.   This finding is an answered prayer because I only want to have one surgery.  That's why I asked God to please reveal anything suspicious or cancerous on my MRI.  He has answered!  He is so faithful and trustworthy!

Also, if it is invasive cancer, then it could mean chemotherapy and radiation.  Chemo is the last thing I want.  It is so hard on you physically.  It usually makes you very sick, lose your hair, etc.  PLEASE KEEP PRAYING!!!

That is enough medical stuff for now.  I want to share with you what God is doing in my heart. 

It was raining when I pulled into the almost empty parking garage yesterday at CMC.  The wind had picked up, and it was getting cooler.  It was dreary and I was alone.  I picked up my Bible and it fell open to Jonah chapter 2 where Jonah is crying out to God from the belly of the fish.  In the midst of a terrible situation (that was a result of his own disobedience no less), Jonah knew God was with him and would listen to him.  

Verses 8-9 stood out to me:  "Those who cling to worthless idols forsake faithful love, but as for me, I will sacrifice to You with a voice of thanksgiving."  I immediately thanked God for being loving, protective, a mighty warrior who fights for me, forgiving, compassionate, unchanging, sovereign and trustworthy.  I also thanked Him for having me in the belly of cancer right now because I know He has divine/eternal reasons for it.        
As I walked into the building I was greeted by this wall size tree!  CMC's symbol is the tree of life, and it is everywhere.  But, I don't recall ever encountering one quite this large!  When I saw it, I was overcome with the strong sense of God's presence - His BIG, POWERFUL, LIFE-SUSTAINING, ALL ENCOMPASSING, MIRACULOUS presence! 

Listen to this...

***GOD NOTE:  A little over a year ago now, God began teaching me things through trees.  Lots of lessons during the past year, but I do not feel like He has revealed to me His "big" purpose for the tree yet.  Maybe all of the little lessons along the way are His big purpose, I don't know.  But until I sense He is finished with the tree lessons, I will keep my eyes and heart open every time I see trees.***

When I walked out after my biopsy, I was overcome with emotion when I saw the big tree again.  Tears started streaming down my face.  It was at that exact moment that God brought John 21:15-17, 19 to my mind.   

 15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
   “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
   Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
 16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
   He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
   Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
 17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
   Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
   Jesus said, “Feed my sheep."
verse 19 ".......Then He (Jesus) said to him (Peter), “Follow me!”

Now, let me see if I can explain.  I have heard this passage at least 3 times in the past week (including a brief teaching by Beth Moore.)  Jesus was asking Peter if he loved (agaped) Him which is a deep, sacrificial, self-less, Holy Spirit empowered type of love.  Peter answered by saying yes he did love (phileo) Him.  This is a friendly, brotherly type of love.  There is a big difference between agape love and phileo love.

Yesterday, God asked me the same question, "Nancy, do you love (agape) Me?  Are you willing to feed My lambs and take care of My sheep, even if it means going through chemo to get to them?  Will you sacrifice your hopes, your plans, your comfort, your finances, your schedule, etc. and do whatever it takes, including chemo, to reach them?  If so, then FOLLOW ME!" 

WOW!!!  I went back to my car and this time my Bible fell right open to Psalm 91.....the chapter all about God's protection no matter the circumstances!!!  

My response to Him....... "Your will be done, Lord.  Your will, not mine.  Whatever it takes to feed Your lambs and take care of Your sheep.  Here I am.  Send me." 

You better put your seat belt on now!  It's going to be an adventurous ride!!!  My hands are still shaking as I type this, but God is in control.  He will take care of me - no matter what.

And HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU TOO - no matter what!  TRUST HIM!

Loving HIM with all my heart and soul,

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